The campfire is the perfect place to crack out your best camping jokes. Try a long winded shaggy dog story to keep everyone on their toes as they sit around the fire, only to crush them with the eye rolling end of the tale. Here are a few of our favourites to try out on your fellow campers…
Our top jokes about camping
Q: Can a frog jump higher than the average tent? A: Of course, tents can’t jump.
Q: What’s another name for a sleeping bag? A: A nap sack.
Q: Why did the camp warden quit his job? A: Because it was always in tents.
Q: If you’ve got four tents, eight sleeping bags and six camping chairs in your wheelbarrow, what have you got? A: A big wheel-barrow.
You can’t run through a campsite. You can only ‘ran’ because it’s past tents.
A 12-year-old boy goes camping for the first time in the woods with his father. After they have set up camp he asks his dad where he can go to the toilet.
“That’s the beauty of camping in the woods,” the father replies, “You can go to the toilet wherever you want.”
After five minutes or so, the young lad wanders back to the campfire.
“So, where did you go to the toilet then, son?” The father asks.
“In your tent,” the boy replies.
Q: Did you hear about the kidnapping in the woods? A: It’s alright – he woke up. (Definite ‘Dad’ camping joke)
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson go on a camping trip together. After eating their dinner around the campfire they retire to the tent to go to sleep. A few hours later Sherlock wakes up.
“Watson, are you awake?” He asks.
“Yes sir. What is it?” Answers Watson.
“Look up and tell me what you see.” Asks Holmes.
“I see billions of stars,” says Watson.
“And what does that tell you Watson,” asks Holmes.
“Well,” says Dr Watson, ” Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow.” “Why? – What does it tell you, Holmes?” Holmes is quiet for a moment then says: “It tells me that someone has stolen our tent.”
I went to buy a camouflage tent the other day but I couldn’t find any.
Teacher: “If I gave you 2 tents and another 2 tents and another 2, how many would you have?”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two tents, and another two tents and another two, how many would you have?”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two tents, and another two tents and another two, how many would you have?”
Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Johnny: “Because I’ve already own a tent!”
Q: Why does Humpty Dumpty love camping autumn?
A: Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
While sitting around a campfire, a boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?”
“That’s disgusting. Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies.
After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?”
“Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”
I went on a camping trip with my wife, kids, and mother-in-law.
At night, my wife awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to me, she insisted on trying to find her mother. I picked up my rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her.
In a clearing not far from the camp, we came upon a chilling sight, the mother-in-law was backed up against a thick, impenetrable bush, and a large bear stood facing her.
My wife cried, “What are we going to do?”
“Nothing,” I said. “The bear got himself into this mess, let him get himself out of it.”
It only cost £5 to get into our local aquarium, as long as you’re camping, or dressed as a dolphin,
A local farmer helped me into his field to camp with a step over his fence. I like his stile.